Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Dosti ka naya funda

  1. You should not have friends who are committed
  2. If you have then you should not meet the person your friend is in love with
  3. If you do then you should not become his/her friend as well
  4. If you ignore previous 3 then get ready to get jacked!

Did I hear you asking why?

Simple! Current make’n’break statistics in love stories suggest that the probability of breaking the affair now or in near future is much higher as compared to yesteryears.

So prepare yourself for the eventualities. If the anticipated break indeed happens (high probability mind you; nothing has changed from previous sentence!) then you want to lend only one shoulder to crying friend. You can shift the weight from time to time you know and you won’t have any joint ailments.

Consider where both were your friends. Both your shoulders are gone and orthopeds and shrinks are having a gala time! Orthopeds coz suddenly you have developed a shoulder pain and shrinks because you are going mad emotionally (what did you think, for the break-up couple…you fool what did I get the shoulder pain for??)

Got it now? Yeah well only one case where you can ignore the initial advice….

Only when you yourself are in love with the person your friend loves! Just kidding…!

I am single. Thank god for small mercies!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Life in a Metro…..where was I living all this while….??

Movie starts with something like this….. A has affair with B… B has with C……C has with D…..D has with E who in turn has it with F……and to complete the circle……F with A!

Then everyone starts sleeping with everyone…..that is cool in a way…..but I just wonder if a pornographic gangbang would have been a better time pass….:P

Then there come the characters in the film……unbelievably weak……Shilpa Shetty is like the forgiving “abla” naari of 60’s where she is ready to forgive her husband whatever he does….

KK has got the best deal…..no limits to infidelity…..sleep with everyone…..come back home…..wife is always there!

Kangna and Sharman are confused…..one is acting like a slut and another like a pimp…..ain’t clear what they want from life…..apparently it’s the race of life why they are acting so….

Shiney Ahuja is the biggest loser…..everyone dumps him…..his wife…his career in acting…..and finally Shilpa Shetty!

Nafeesa Ali and Dharmendra are the old age lovers……again Nafeesa forgives someone who stood her up years ago…….watching her and Shilpa Shetty it seems that there is serious lack of dignity in metros for women….

Dharam paji……getting old….his crying makes audience laugh in the theatre……what else do I say??

Saving grace…..Irfaan Khan and Konkona Sen….had they not been there I probably would have walked out in half!

And of course the singers……come out cool first time……but as the movie progresses……there presence becomes increasingly creepy……(songs are nice though)

I think I should put a full stop to watching Hindi movies unless someone really recommends it……I mean look at me…..all I have done after watching last few is writing these reviews of crap movies….! Not that anyone read them here…..but then it’s a country of free speech ain’t it?

Overall…..its a CRAP movie…..and if u read this and still see it then just drop your contact number in comments because I assume you have shit loads of money to spare….!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Please Stop Singing; Noen ain’t no good

“Yudhdha Taryanche, Swapna Suranche”

That’s the program that is currently going on like a TV series. All the supposed self proclaimed who’s who of Marathi television are invited to participate in a singing competition and display “the other set” of talents!

I happened to watch one of the episodes the other day. It was a tired evening after office and I switched it on with some expectation of listening to pacifying melodies. What I actually got….well, why don’t you experience for yourself? After all its “the other set”!

I am not trying to make a point here about their singing abilities however. It sucks big time. And then there is further complication. After every round I think last 3 are eliminated and remaining reach the next round. So basically considering their singing, those who have really decided to watch should thank their stars that the annoyance level surely goes down per level.

There was one shot displaying the emotions of participants while the results were announced. The “stars” that feature in last 3 are apparently so broken that it seems like they were super confident of making to next round and now they can’t become great singers! I am sure its not only these stars however. It all comes across as a coached performance. You know…..when camera comes; show that you are dejected kinds.

But for what? Do producers/directors really think that they are increasing the interest levels by letting stars manifest “real life reactions”? and on top of that do they think audience is fool enough?

Rather than such stupid star fight, may be a chance can be given to some people who can really sing. And if they can’t manage that then put that money in producing something good for Marathi industry.

Being a Maharashtrian it hurts to see nothing good, nothing of quality is coming out!