Yesterday I visited Cheshire home. A place for mentally retarded human beings. Otherwise just like us.
But how big a difference that otherwise makes. So many old questions resurfaced. What is life? Who is god?
I said, " they have no life. Its just a mockery of it. Who exactly are we being good to by allowing them to live that kind of a life?" ..............I have always been a supporter of euthanasia. More I read, more my belief is reinforced. Criminal? Who me? ok.......... To which he answered," They are feeling people mate, not thinking like you and me".......well.......in any case, on the day of judgment I have something to ask back to god.......
Am still thinking.
Same day I saw the softer side of so many of my batch mates whom I wouldn't have known otherwise. Ever. Nothing new that everyone would feel sad in such an environment but something I saw there moved me. People I always thought to be too selfish and too materialistic came out so differently. And me, myself, whom I have always looked up to as an emotionally enriched person, was nowhere to be found. I could interact with those people probably easier than most of them. But where was that feeling of sadness? I felt i was sad just because one is supposed to be sad. I felt so helpless that I am not doing anything. So damn helpless. It drained me. And that's that. I thought as if i was lying to myself when I said I am sad and angry.
But Why?........
It made me realize however how blessed we are. Fights for placements, higher education, strategic thinking seem so petty.
What I am going to do about it someone asked. I don't know. I do not know if I am brave enough to visit and spend time with them. Partly because I cant see that life. Partly because I am becoming dry I think. A state i dread of. And one more why?
But something for sure. What remains to be seen is how I channelize all this "learning".
But how big a difference that otherwise makes. So many old questions resurfaced. What is life? Who is god?
I said, " they have no life. Its just a mockery of it. Who exactly are we being good to by allowing them to live that kind of a life?" ..............I have always been a supporter of euthanasia. More I read, more my belief is reinforced. Criminal? Who me? ok.......... To which he answered," They are feeling people mate, not thinking like you and me".......well.......in any case, on the day of judgment I have something to ask back to god.......
Am still thinking.
Same day I saw the softer side of so many of my batch mates whom I wouldn't have known otherwise. Ever. Nothing new that everyone would feel sad in such an environment but something I saw there moved me. People I always thought to be too selfish and too materialistic came out so differently. And me, myself, whom I have always looked up to as an emotionally enriched person, was nowhere to be found. I could interact with those people probably easier than most of them. But where was that feeling of sadness? I felt i was sad just because one is supposed to be sad. I felt so helpless that I am not doing anything. So damn helpless. It drained me. And that's that. I thought as if i was lying to myself when I said I am sad and angry.
But Why?........
It made me realize however how blessed we are. Fights for placements, higher education, strategic thinking seem so petty.
What I am going to do about it someone asked. I don't know. I do not know if I am brave enough to visit and spend time with them. Partly because I cant see that life. Partly because I am becoming dry I think. A state i dread of. And one more why?
But something for sure. What remains to be seen is how I channelize all this "learning".
2 comments:
quite normal, ur reactions ...the feeling of indifference...the feeling sad bit, jus cuz every1 arnd u is...
wats not normal, is yer confession abt the same.
I think those kids deserved the indifference. To be treated normal. Sometimes the whole world around you is one big farce. Worse still when you join in. Great to see someone fight out the glory attached.
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